I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
