It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
