Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
