today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
