She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We were destined to go to rehab together
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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