i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
