He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
