check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
