it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
