I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
