physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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