Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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