So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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