I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
