Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
