She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize