Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
