No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
