Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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