there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
