You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
