Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
