I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I lost the right to judge tonight
is that a dick in a sweater?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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