I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
