Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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