My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
