It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
