just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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