You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
