her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
