id be glad to
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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