My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she told me i tasted like america
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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