now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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