remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
whose parrot is this?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
