I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
