forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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