I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
