is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
