We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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