if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
