Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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