I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
