Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize