not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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