thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
