pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I lost the right to judge tonight
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
