Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize