no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I am midnight drunk by noon
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize