In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize