True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
