Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
