How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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