She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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