He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
