apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
When are your genitals available?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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