she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
