the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
third nipple confirmed
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
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