There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
