Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
