did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
