why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
