we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
love makes seman taste better
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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