She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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