How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
