So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
