I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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