He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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