New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
