There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I have feelings that need drinking.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
