My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
