Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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